Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Don't Believe Everything You See on ESPN

ESPN screen capture

On Tuesday night's SportsCenter, an unidentified female was shown at USC football practice sporting a “Don’t Mess with Texas” tote bag, prompting ESPN's Shelley Smith to wonder if she was acting as a spy for the Longhorns.

"Coincidence...or conspiracy?" wondered Smith. "The day Texas passed USC in the BCS rankings, someone showed up at the Trojans' practice with this bag."

After a thorough investigation, I can now exclusively report that girl in question is indeed a native Texan, but she denied reports that she was sent by Texas coach Mack Brown to Los Angeles on a reconnaissance mission.

The bag, she explained, “was a gift from my papa. He bought it in Austin.” As for the message on the bag, she said it was originally a slogan for a statewide anti-littering campaign in the Lone Star State.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love Texas, but I don’t root for the Longhorns, let alone go on secret missions on their behalf,” said the tote-carrying Texan.

Others have commented that this mystery woman bears a striking resemblance to the author of this blog. In fact, according to at least one reliable source, the two were one and the same.

So next time I’m reporting from USC football practice, I’ll remember to leave my Texas paraphernalia at home.

And if I were to start spying for UT, I'd be sure not to get caught doing so on camera...

WATCH: The ESPN story in question (USC Report)


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